Kids need a LOT of attention

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I have four kids, and I love every one of them. I always knew that I wanted a large family. What I am starting to realize now is how much ATTENTION they crave. I think I have figured out that a large part of Gavin's misbehavior and Abbie's whinyness (sp?) are due to wanting more of my attention. Even Trent, my 10yo, loves to hover over me and drives me NUTS. And of course 15mo Carolyn is glued to my hip or breast at all times.

I sew a lot, I goof off on the internet way more than I want to admit, and try to keep up with my WAHM biz and housework- which I am rarely successful at. I am always "busy".

I think it is starting to slowly sink in-

Nothing else matters. I have to find a new way of doing things- a new set of priorities. If you ever asked me what my priorities were, my answer would be "My family, of course!" But have I really been behaving that way- when I am constantly swatting them off of me so I can "just get this done"?

I always feel like I am running, but yet never accomplishing enough. I think it is time for me to just sit still and cuddle with my kids on the couch, or forget about laudry and take the kids to the park. Maybe today we can make a mess of the kitchen table and do a Christmas craft for the grandparents. It's time to make some memories to cherish, instead of letting it all scream by in a blur. :)

Christmas used to be more fun.

Friday, December 07, 2007

I can still remember getting chills down my spine walking through the mall hearing the beautiful Christmas music and seeing the lights and gorgeous displays. I was completely oblivious to the work and scurry going on all around me to create that little spine chill.

Now I am grown, and I have 4 little kidlets of my own. Christmas has become a chore. Gotta put up a tree. Gotta decorate it. Hang up lights. Buy presents. Keep them hidden from one very curious and crafy 4 year old boy. Wrap presents. Clean the house for company. Etc etc etc.

It was so much more fun as a kid. Who knew? All those hours I wasted as a kid wishing I was a grown up, and now all I want is to see Christmas again through a child's eyes. I guess that is why God gave me children- I can live vicariously through them, and maybe even send a few chills down their spines.

I don't know if it is my realization of commercialism that killed it for me or what. I know that I should be more focused on the real meaning of Christmas. Not the fake "spirit of Christmas" junk, but the REAL meaning of Christmas- the birth of our Savior. But it is so easy to get caught up in the hype and not even enjoy any of it.

So as my little Abbie stares at the gold garland on the tree and giggles, and can giggle with her, and know that she can't even appreciate the value of that grin on her face. She is such an angel- and not some feathered angel atop a tree- the kind that shines brightly in the room and brings a message from God.

"I love life... I love Christmas... I love you."

Blog what?

Well- I am obviously no good at blogging. It has been over a month since my last post, though I guess that is an improvement on two years.

I have so much going on in my head at any given time- I rarely have a shortage of things to say. But when it comes to blogging- everyone else just makes it seem easier. I know I can do it- I can even say I have time if I can compulsively check my email and bank account 20 times a day. I guess I need to add blogger to my daily online addiction. I think it would do me good. Why? I dunno. Why not? I need *some* kind of outlet for the ramblings in my brain. So I have decided that you will be my unwitting therapist. "You" being whomever actually stumbles upon and reads my crazy nonsense.

So strap on your seatbelt and get ready for a bumpy ride. You'll wish you were getting paid...